Thursday, April 26, 2012

Our Tears

Sophie Kate and I have an online community of friends, I know I have spoken about them before...a group of parents with kids just like our Sophie.  I come and go reading here and there, contributing from time to time and asking a question or two along the way.  Sometimes it gets to difficult to log on and I have to give myself a break but I also know that we need one another to encourage, to share, to vent and to gain parent tested information.  

We get to know each other as best we can "online" and we get to love and care about each other's children and then sometimes we lose these children.  When that happens all other talk ceases, therapy doesn't seem as important, questions about gtube feedings or which wheelchair to choose loses its urgency and reality sets in and it hurts.

We've lost some of SK friends recently and remembered a sweet one who passed a few years ago as well.  In those moments I am moved...moved to tears, moved to my knees beside my girl.  I held her hand and kissed her all over just taking in the warmth of her as my tears spilled over her skin.  Broken for mamas and daddys who have buried their babies and in the same moment grateful that I still have mine with me.  

Our tears are not in vain, as they fall they are captured by the Almighty.  He is aware of every tear and every grieving heart.  We are not abandoned in those moments, we are held.  I have been changed by these tears.  There is healing through my tears.  There is growth and learning, compassion and appreciation in my tears.  God does not allow my tears to be wasted.  My heart is softer, everyday moments are brighter and full of life.  

Can something good possibly come from something so many people see as a "tragedy?"  Can something real and alive and beautiful come from a situation that the world sees as devastating and horrible?  Yes, we keep going, putting one foot in front of the other, minute by minute, hour by hour even when we don't feel like it.  Keeping our eyes on Him always only on Him.  He will bring healing and hope to our dried up thirsty bones and we will smile again with a new understanding. 

Hebrew 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."

Yes He is friends, He is faithful.

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