Monday, April 16, 2012

A Journey

Yep, some meds and some TLC and our little Sassy is back. SK is feeling lots better and is getting back to her smiley self.  Thanks to the care she received from this guy...
She doesn't look at anyone else likes she looks at Grey. She thinks he hung the moon and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.  On one of the nights she was sick, he sat on the sofa next to me and wanted her head in his lap.  He sat there stroking her hair and telling her how sad it makes him when "his Sophie" doesn't feel good.  No wonder she looks at him like that, their love is something special.  It is active and alive and you can literally feel it between them whether they are together or apart.  It's theirs and theirs alone and it is something to behold.  

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

I pray that in some small way we are able to comfort others with the comfort we have received each day from our Lord. I'm not real sure that comfort is the right word, maybe it's just to listen to them or to cry with them or to even find a way to smile again.  Whatever that "comfort" is I feel we have to "go forth" with it.  It's not to just stay here with us in our home.

I have found myself praying over families and children where I am using some of the same words and Bible verses that I pray over my own baby girl.  I am so broken for them and I think it's because I know.  I've been in that room with those doctors where diagnoses are made or words are said about your child that are unimaginable.  I've been told that my child may not live through the next hour or through the night. I've been told to just reach out and touch her hand because that may be the only contact I ever have with her. I've been told of extensive brain damage, an inability to swallow and seizures that leave her crying for relief.  No parent should ever have to hear such things.

For so long I had nothing to give, for so long I felt like I was the "only one."  For so long caring for her and her brothers consumed every second and every bit of energy I had.  We were trying to get our feet back underneath us, we were just trying to get our heads above water and I literally felt like I had nothing to give at the end of each exhausting day.  During that time we were ministered to by so many who care deeply for us and for our family.

I know I am called to do more than just survive this.  I am called to comfort others with the comfort that I have received.  I am called to encourage others with the encouragement I receive.  I have never felt emotions so deeply and so raw as I have in the last 4+ years, but I have also never felt so connected and so tightly woven together with this man of mine and these 4 kids.  

I felt so entitled to the life I was living before our sweet girl was born, it's shameful but it's very entitled it makes me sick now.  Today things are so very different, but every thing around me is alive and vibrant and I am so grateful for each moment literally each day with them...all of them.  Things settle on me differently than they used to, my priorities are drastically different (and that's a good thing) and I choose to live in hope instead of despair and love instead of bitterness.

Ephesians 3:17-19 "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Love that surpasses knowledge...Amen!!  Thank you for continuing on this journey with us.            

1 comment:

dawn said...

Grey hung the moon for sure. I'm a big fan.