One day last week, I had the privilege of spending an entire day alone with my oldest son. We actually started out at the doctor but it wasn't because he was sick. There were some shots he had to get before entering 6th grade and I was being really on top of things so I found myself at the doctor for a well visit with my eleven year old son. It was first thing in the morning after everyone else was dropped off at school so I thought it would be the perfect day for "just us."
After we got that doctor thing out of the way, we went to Target so he could spend some of his saved up gift cards and then we headed over to Game Stop where he bought a new video game. Cooper is the penny pincher of the group. Jacob and Grey spend it as soon as they get it, but Cooper holds on to every penny...so this was a pretty big day for him. In fact after we left Game Stop still with gift cards and money to spare, he declared he was done spending money for the day. I guess he just couldn't bare to let another cent go, ha ha.
We had lunch together and even had time for a Yogurt Mountain run before we had to pick SK up from her nurse's house. I don't get much one on one time with the boys. Now we spend a lot of time together but it's mostly together as a family not necessarily just one of us and one of them, so this was a very special day.
While at lunch, Cooper was asking me things about when he was a baby...you know, special memories I had and things like that. One thing you should know about Cooper is that he can be very emotional, just like his mama. We talked about a lot of stuff but when I started telling him about the day he was born and how I felt and all the precious little things he used to do around the house, he started to tear up. Well, that in turn caused me to tear up and I said to him, "Why are we doing this? We don't have to do this to ourselves, you know?" He said, "Yeah you're right. Let's wait until we get home, I can cry there."
That response may sound strange to some, but I'm glad he feels that way about home. I want this to be a safe place for him and his brothers and sister. I want them to feel protected here. I want this to be a place where he can ask questions and express his feelings in a respectful way of course. I never want him to think he has to be something he's not for anyone, but you know, some days you just feel like you can't do anything right. It just may be a day where things don't go his way and I want him to always know when he walks through the door of his home that he's in a safe place. A place free of judgement and full of love.
If he tells me of a situation at school or has a question about anything, we are going to talk about it and go to the Bible and find out what God has to say about it. I don't want him to believe in what he believes in because his parents do. I want him to be able to stand firm in his own decision to follow Christ. In choosing not to take the Lord's name in vain, I don't want him to say it's because my parent's told me not too. I want it to be because it's a choice he has made based on his convictions and his relationship with his Savior, not because mommy and daddy say so. Now certainly he can see by our behavior and we can and are called to model that for him, but we are transitioning from "because we said so" to let's see what God has to say concerning that subject.
He's eleven and we only have seven more years until he graduates High School. It takes my breath away that we are on the "short side" of time left with him regularly in our home and under our roof. 1 Peter 3:15 says, "but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence."
It's not going to be enough for him to say because my mom and dad believe and that's what they told me to do. Father God, I pray Your protection on his heart that he will continue to seek Your truths, and that he will stand firm in Your Word and not be swayed back and forth by the ever changing winds of this earthly life.