Monday, October 7, 2013

In the stillness

The slow pace of a Sunday morning is not something I am used to. Our Sunday mornings consist of an early wake up call, morning meds for SK and then wrangling 4 kids out the door to church.  It is always worth it though to worship with our church family, to be encouraged and to be in a place where we are loved and supported.  

This Sunday morning was quite different for me, home with my girl.  She let us know Saturday evening she wasn't feeling well.  You can see her sickness all over her face, you can feel it on her body.  The only sounds this morning come from Sophie Kate's nebulizer, feeding pump, oxygen concentrator, pulse oximeter and the occasional suction machine...those are familiar sounds to us now.  I look past the machines that are trying to keep us from her.  Yes, that's how I really feel about them...they are trying to crowd us out with their bulkiness and cords running all over the place.  Something has to be moved out of the way every time we want to get to her, so we scoot and move things around so that there is a place for us beside her, with her, touching her.

I look past the machines, the medicines, the diagnoses and the demands that call me to be busy around her and I have time this morning to see her, to be with her, to hold her.  I look into her big brown eyes trying to catch them as they dart back and forth and I do.  She locks eyes with me for the briefest of moments and I talk to her and she gives me that precious have grin she is so famous for in this house. We're having church here too.

God is meeting us in the quiet of this moment as he is meeting with believers everywhere in their moments whether loud or soft.  I realize that as much as I am alone with her these are the times I long for, these are the times where I am ministered to most.  When I am not busying myself with chores and tasks around her but when I am still and quiet beside her and just listen.  There is much to be learned in the silence.

God continues to speak His truth over our family.  We listen and we wait expectantly with hope.

Lamentations 3:25-26 "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."


Laurel Griffith said...

Beautiful words that minister to me, Amye. Thank you for living such a faithful, transparent life so I can learn from you. Laurel Griffith

dawn said...

i have those same sweet solitary moments with Emmy, where our eyes meet. or even if they don't meet, i see her eyes light up or the tiniest hint of a smile, and i know we are connecting. it's the best. sending love to you and SK, from me and EG