Thursday, September 6, 2012

When She Smiles

When she smiles, everything else seems to fade away. She has a way of pulling you in with just a smile.  Even though she has never spoken a word she speaks volumes to me with just a smile.  Sometimes it's a smirk, sometimes it's a kind of half smile and then sometimes it's so big and so wide that it's not possible for it to get any bigger...because if it did it would not be able to contain itself and would spill over into full blown laughter...and that's exactly what happened Tuesday afternoon.  Sophie Kate laughed out loud for the first time in her life!

It was just the two of us and I was preparing to move her from her recliner to the sofa so that I could give her water and meds.  I warned her that my hands were cold and then proceeded to pick her up.  Well, my cold hands and the tickle under her arms caused that huge smile to break out across her face and then the laugh that could not be contained.  Her first laugh.  I asked her "Was that a laugh, did you just laugh?"

Chad walked in about 10 minutes later and tickled her under her arms and she did it again for him too...we both heard it.  I tell you what that little girl had to be sore under her arms the next day because we tickled her like crazy the rest of the evening just trying to hear that laugh one more time...but we did get to hear it once.

I don't remember when the boys' smile turned into their first laugh.  That first baby belly laugh, you know what I am talking about, it's so cute, but I don't remember when they did it for the first time.  I took it for granted.  They were going to do it.  I knew they were, just like they were going to sit up, crawl, talk and walk...I took it all for granted.

I keep running those moments over and over in my mind. Her laugh, what it sounded like, what it looked like, how I felt just in case I don't get to hear it again for a while.  I never want to forget it.  Hope creeps in again, it can be a scary thing.  Just when you convince yourself that your OK with the way things are, then something like this happens and you dare to hope again.  It's scary and exhilarating at the same time.  
Upon hearing about SK's laugh, one of Sophie Kate's nurses sent me a message that said "I pray that you are blessed everyday with your children's laughter."  What a wonderful thing...simple, beautiful and music to a mother's ears.  I have waited over 4 years for this...I did not take it for granted this time.

Psalm 68:19 "May the Lord be praised! Day after day he bears our burdens..." 

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