I would gaze at my baby girl and think to myself, "How can this be? Look at her she is so beautiful, she looks so normal. How can this be happening?"
I have longed for/wanted her to be a certain way for so long. I have wished it, prayed for it and willed it, but I have done her a disservice in doing so. She is not a "typical" child...which begs the question...which one of our children are "normal or typical?" Each one of them are unique and extraordinary, blessings to be loved and cared for unconditionally. There is nothing "typical" or "normal" about any one of them.
This gradual change in perspective can only come with time, it doesn't come easy and can only come as a result of the tender molding and weaving of the Holy Spirit at work in us. It is only by His hand that we are not only living but thriving through these circumstances. God's gentleness in dealing with me has chipped away at my hurt and anger over time. The pain I thought I would live with for the rest of my life has been eased by God's persistence in pursuing me and His unending love for me and my family.
God has known for a long time how beautiful and special SK is whether she is like all the other children or not. Praise be to Him for not giving up on me and allowing me to see her for who she is and to be a small part of such an incredible life.
Psalm 116:7-8 "I said to myself, "Relax and rest. God has showered you with blessings. Soul, you've been rescued from death; Eye, you've been rescued from tears; And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling." (The Message)