I sometimes get caught up in what everyone is doing around me...their service projects, volunteer opportunities and mission trips. I hear about a medical mission trip at church and being a nurse myself I think, "Yes, that's what I'm suppose to be doing." I would so love to go on a medical mission trip one day, or at least I really think I would. I may or I may not get the opportunity to do that one day. God always reminds me as I am looking at the lives of others and thinking what a difference they are making in this world that I am right where I am supposed to be. This space, with these people, in this community, in this city...this is my mission field. He has absolutely equipped us for our journey and there is no way I can accomplish my purpose apart from Him. However, I've not been called and I have not been equipped for someone else's journey and purpose.
I know with certainty that my service through the direction and urging of God is to my family and the folks around me right now. That may not always be the case, but God has shown me over and over again, because I'm real hard headed, that His plan for me at this time is here at home. That may sound like the easy way out to some, that I very lightly can say that I know this is where I am supposed to be and where I am supposed to concentrate my time, energy and effort so then I can say "No" to every thing else...that is not what I mean to say.
I send the emails to folks wanting to volunteer...wanting to spend time at my children's school, wanting to help out at church and inevitably I end up having to send the email that says, "Sorry, but Sophie Kate is sick or she has a doctor's appointment and I am not going to be able to make it after all." Yep, I'm that person and yet I keep trying. It's a long and ongoing lesson I am learning.
I am sitting by her side again today. I can read her feelings on her face. Her eyes are not as bright as they usually are, she doesn't feel like smiling today, she's not feeling well. She's struggling keeping her O2 levels up due to her increased secretions. I am doing all I can to keep her comfortable and to keep her levels up. This is where I am supposed to be...I feel it, I know it.