The morning he left could have been any other morning, but it wasn't. The morning he left he could have very well been leaving for work, but he wasn't and I knew that. It should have been just like any other day...me here with the kids...but it wasn't. On a regular day he works almost an hour away from us so it's not like he gets to drop by and join us for lunch or anything, but it was still different.
And yes, of course I missed his help in the evening with all these kids but I can take care of all of them by myself I do it every day. It was that he wasn't just working an hour away, he was a plane ride away and we all knew that and it felt different and weird to all of us and I'm glad it did.
He wasn't home for dinner and he is always home for dinner and we missed that and I'm glad we missed it. The boys didn't spend as much time downstairs because He wasn't there with them. He wasn't standing across the hospital bed from me as we put our little girl to bed that night. I did it by myself and while I am completely capable of doing that I didn't like doing it without him.
Things just felt different and they should because when he's home everything is better, everything is going to be OK. He made everything OK when we moved here not even two years into our marriage and I knew no one and had no family here. It was truly the period of time where he became my family. Just him, just being there, just coming home to to us every single night...day after day, week after week, year after year...that is what a real man does. As the head of our family he stood when I couldn't in a small room in the NICU when our world collapsed and so did I...he stood, by the power and strength of God he stood for me, for our girl and for our family. No one can fill his role but him...just ask her...
"Happy Father's Day" isn't even close to enough for him.