God willing, Sophie Kate will start back to school today. Our school system has worked very hard to get everything in place for SK to get back in the classroom. They really want her back at school and that has been evident by both their words and their actions. We are very blessed by the community we live in, folks really do love and care for our girl.
She will, however, be going back under a different set of circumstances. She will have her oxygen machine plugged in, constantly delivering 2 liters of O2 and her suction machine close by her side as well. This has been so hard. The reminder that things have changed is visible by just looking at her. She wears a nasal cannula all the time now...an ever present sign that she is not the same girl she was over our carefree summer. It begs the question...will there ever be another carefree summer?
Even at church yesterday, I felt weirdly alone. It's always hard going back after yet another setback with SK. I feel satan's attacks even there and since I'm a crier...well, I cried. Following along after SK's wheelchair, wheeling around her oxygen was so very difficult, I wanted to leave every second we were there. I have only been two other places with her and her oxygen and yes all I wanted to do was to leave those places too. This has changed everything, it is so hard to get out with her and her oxygen. We have been so determined to still go and do and to take her around to her brothers games and stuff, but this oxygen thing has been a game changer. I find myself trying to figure out ways for her and I to stay home.
It's just plain hard right now. It took hours and hours of preparation for Chad and I to get her out of the house yesterday morning and even then we were late. I don't know how I am going to even come close to managing school this week. It seems like there is just mountain after mountain for us to climb and I am growing weary. I'm thankful for our church and our community who love us through the hard times and aren't scared off by how difficult it is to continue to be our friends. A big ole "thanks" goes out to the folks who keep checking and calling and doing and loving and praying. Please pray for our transition back to school this week.