We are starting the process of home bound school for Sophie Kate. Not sure what to expect or how this kind of thing is done, but what I do know is that she enjoys school. She enjoys being there, being around people, having people engage with her and participating in different activities that stimulate her in a positive way. I was asked by her doctor if she enjoys school...that would be a resounding yes! The thing that makes my mama heart happy is that they miss her and they want her back at school. I love how much they love her. I love how much they do for her and care about her to the point that they want to continue to see her even when she is not able to attend. Home bound school will be temporary for SK, she will be able to return to school in the spring.
She is doing so well at home. Her numbers are looking great which makes my inner nurse very happy. Her eyes are bright and her face is smiley which makes my mama heart happy. We continue to work on getting her O2 back to 2 liters, we now have her pretty consistently at 3 liters which is a continued improvement. It almost makes me think that she is ready to get out and about again, but then I remember 4 short weeks ago and I know we can't go back there and I know she still needs to be protected and her lungs still need to get better.
"In His name we overcome,"were the words we sang Sunday in church. I feel everything so deeply. I feel the hurt but I also feel the highs. I want to feel and experience these days. The difficult ones make the good ones all the more dear to me. Regular, "normal" days are a treasure to me, I long for them when our girl is sick and especially when we were in the hospital with her. I would have given anything for a "nothing special" kind of day when I sat at her beside for 4 days while she was on a ventilator. I helplessly watched her hurt and struggle, wishing there was a way I could trade places with her.
"In His name we overcome." We get through another minute, hour, and day because His love and His grace is enough. We put her to bed every night and watch her drift of to sweet relaxing sleep while we look on exhausted from a day of caring for her. Our strength fails us, but in His strength we go on. Alarms go off in the night and we (mostly Chad because he's a rock star when it comes to thriving on little sleep) find a way pop up out of bed and attend to her every need. Christ's love in us compels us to and in His name we are somehow not overwhelmed. There seems to be no end to the daily drain and strain on us physically and emotionally as we care for our daughter in every way you can imagine and in so many ways that you cannot, but in His name we carry on.
I want folks to know far and wide that it is nothing of ourselves, nothing that we possess, nothing that we know better than someone else, nothing that makes us more equipped than anyone else to do what we do other than Christ in us. We are not smart enough, strong enough or capable enough for this journey apart from Christ. It is in His name that we overcome...we overcome depression, feelings of isolation, hurt, pain and sadness on a daily basis. We commit to live for Jesus and it is because of our relationship with Christ that we commit to each other and to this family. In turn, in our thanksgiving and in our gratitude we experience joy and love and laughter and smiles in a real authentic genuine way. I feel it and I have to feel it so that I can see Christ's protection and His hand on us in the darkness and then when He redeems us out of the darkness and we experience a time of healing and smiles.
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."