Sophie Kate will go back to school on Wednesday. For now, those in her life making decisions for her want to her to go to school. Her parents, her doctors and her teachers want this for her because she enjoys it so much. I know the day is coming when school won't be an option for her, I can feel it...but it's not this year.
I am finding the thought of it difficult. When school can adversely affect the health of your child you find it very hard to let go of her hand and walk out of that classroom without her. I'm not buying crayons and scissors and school glue for my first grader. I am scheduling the delivery of her oxygen concentrator so it will be waiting for us on the first day of school. I am packing her AFOs so that she can use them during therapy. Usually I get to at least do one "normal" thing and buy our girl a new backpack, but seeing as how she only attended school for three months last year her old backpack is still in really good shape...as are her clothes and her shoes...no scuff marks and no worn out places.
After so much time together, I find it difficult to turn her over to someone else. She will have a new nurse this school year. On the first day of school I will be introducing a complete stranger to my daughter and am expected at some point to leave her with them. I haven't done that in a very, very long time. There is not enough time in the day to tell someone everything there is to know about this sweet girl. There are so many things that are just automatic to me, I don't even think about them...I know I am going to leave something out.
There won't be a bus pulling away with her waving bye to me in the window. She won't be hopping out of my car in carline walking in with a backpack that is bigger than she is. I will take her to school myself after all the other children have been dropped off. I will do it though because I fear there will be a day when she can't go. I fear there will be a day when the risk far out weighs the benefit. It's not this day though so we will wake up ridiculously early and I will pack up all of her supplies because she enjoys school. I can't keep her to myself, kids need to see her at school, they need to get to know her and spend time around her. She has purpose and worth and a smile that is so contagious. God has a plan for her life and without a word ever spoken the two of them will change hearts and minds. She's the teacher and we are the students.