Deeper Still

A little over 3 years ago, our family was hit with an unexpected, unforeseen storm that threatened to devastate us so completely that we would be unable to recover from it.  

Not only did the storm come through and like a tornado level everything we held most dear to us, but it continued for the ensuing year and a half.  There were times that we could almost see through the rain only to find ourselves under a deluge once again.  

When would the clouds part, when would the sun shine again?  Even if it did, it wouldn't feel the same...how do you move forward when there is no healing?  How do you come out from under something that never seems to lighten?  How do you deal with and live with the pain everyday....because we walk by faith not by sight.


By sight my pain is unbearable, by sight my daughter is to be pitied and felt sorry for, by sight some might even make fun of her.  By sight she is not able to accomplish and live up to all that society deems important and worthy.  Praise God that this earthly journey is not all there is.


By faith she is here for a greater purpose, by faith I know I will hear her sweet voice one day, by faith she will change lives (she already has), by faith what satan intended for evil and for harm, God is weaving into goodness and joy.


There is no easy answer, there is no "quick fix" to make everything better and like it was prior to November 3rd 2007 and there is no option of doing this without God...we would fail miserably.  I attended the Deeper Still women's conference this weekend and what a blessing it was.  


Kay Arthur told us that Jesus was not be "added" to our lives as though He were an accessory but that He was to be our life...meaning that we are to have a change of mind that embraces what the Kingdom of God is all about and that we are to make the necessary changes.  Our lives are to line up with the Word of God.


Priscilla Shirer challenged us to live in the "God margin."  I loved this one...she said God is calling for everything we have, we are to hold nothing back and once we take that step toward the call God has on each one of our lives and we step beyond anything we ever thought we were capable of well, then we know that we are in the "God margin."  We can only get ourselves so far, but when we are obedient to God's will and His hand is upon what we are doing then we will see the impossible become possible, but only in the "God margin."


Lastly, Beth Moore urged us to rediscover the lost art of treasure, as Mary, the mother of Jesus did in Luke 2:19 "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."  One point Beth made that I want to share was "We'll miss our most expensive treasure if we look past the hardship and pain."  She shared Isaiah 45:3 with us...in that verse the Word of God says, "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."  


Can there really be treasures in the darkness?  This verse paints such a beautiful picture to me...it has compelled me to discover some of my own treasures in the darkness.  The most obvious to me is Sophie Kate herself, she is a treasure, by earthly standards she should not even be alive.  The change in my boys, their hearts are so tender toward their sister.  It is a treasure to see how they love and care for her.  Do you know that the divorce rate is even higher than the national average among the parents of special needs children?  My marriage is a treasure, this man that has committed his life to me and these children of ours is a treasure.  


I am not sharing all these things to brag on us, but to brag on our God.  We have been in the "God margin."  We have been to a place where we had nothing but the hope we have in Jesus.  Our marriage has been under the type of stress and strain that could have caused permanent damage and it is not because of anything we did that it didn't completely fall apart.  It is because the hand of God was at work and when He is at work the impossible becomes possible.  

May I never be stagnant and halfhearted in my relationship with my Savior, but always long to go "deeper still."

Thanks for checking in on us.