Wanna Play Barbies?

I had always thought it was pretty funny how prior to Sophie Kate being born and being the mother to only boys that I was always a regular recipient of the American Girl catalog.  I certainly know how it happened, it was b/c I had bought some things for my niece for Christmas one year and might I add that it was years ago.  Nevertheless, every so often in mail, with my name on it, as if my house was full of girls came the American Girl catalog.  I would look through every page thinking how much fun it would be if I had a daughter.  Now the dang thing goes straight to the trash, especially after the cry fest I had over the Christmas catalog that came in oh yeah that was October.

These days I am inundated with the break my heart Christmas commercials of little girls and their mamas laughing, enjoying and playing (insert majorly girly thing here).  You know, you've seen them, how about the "Wanna play Barbies" one?  Why yes...yes I do wanna play Barbies... and babies and grocery store and tea party real bad.  I'm tired of "playing" therapy and buying her Christmas presents that are for 0-6 month old babies.  I know that this is too much pressure to put on such a tiny person, it's not fair for me to put all this on her.  It's really not something you would ever think about until you don't have it.  I know I never thought about these things with my boys, there was never a question that I would be able to play trucks and trains with them and even ultimately one day have light saber battles with them.  I never even thought about it.  So here I am now and I'm thinking about it way too much.  Just a transparent day here, one where I'm not acting like I'm really ok with all this, b/c I'm NOT!!