Chad and I celebrated 14 years of marriage this week. We went out to dinner by ourselves on a random Tuesday night. A fancy dinner at that...to a place that doesn't serve chicken nuggets and fries or any other sort of "child-friendly" foods. In fact, it was quite the opposite, there were words on the menu that my children probably couldn't even pronounce, words like "pancetta" and "braised" just to name a few. It got me to thinking as we sat around other couples enjoying an equally nice evening, I wanted to know...are y'all celebrating a special event as well or is this just something you routinely do on a random Tuesday night? I so wanted to know what their story was because this was a big deal for us.
It seems as the years and children began to accumulate, we didn't give our anniversary the pause it deserved. Yes, there were cards involved and "Happy Anniversaries" all around and we were all fine with that. The demands of being parents threatened to eclipse any semblance of a husband and a wife without us even being aware of it much less doing anything to change it and once again everyone involved seemed fine with that.
With the birth of our daughter, everything changed, nothing was as it had been, nothing. I depended on this man more than I ever had in my life. He was strong and carried the weight of everything on shoulders whether he wanted to or not and pulled us (and continues to pull us) through unimaginable pain. His commitment to this family was not verbal, it was truly visible and seen through his actions and the way he cared for us. "No words were needed," little did I know how profoundly those four words would changed my life.
Fast forward 3 years and we find ourselves at The Veranda celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary. It's old south style makes you feel as though you are dining in a home straight out of "Gone with the Wind." We had a few hours in which we actually felt like a couple again. We talked about our wedding, our honeymoon, our first years together in that one bedroom apartment and our first home. I began to feel as though it wasn't a lifetime ago that maybe somewhere buried inside I was still that same girl, bride and wife.
This man who has made a commitment to me and to our family then looks me straight in the eye and says, "I wouldn't change a thing, not a minute of it." It wasn't just something he said in the moment (he has said it before), I could see the feeling and the meaning behind his words in his eyes and for a brief moment I was almost there with him. I couldn't however bring myself to speak the words to disagree with him this time. Instead I immediately felt myself being jerked back to the present and the pain I wake up to every morning. Not sure I am to the point yet where I wouldn't want to change a thing but it gives me hope and makes me feel secure that he does.
I wonder what's different about his commitment? What makes his vow so firm in a world where marriage, devotion and commitment are not highly regarded traits...where husbands and wives feel as though they don't have to follow through on their promises? It's all about our choices... him choosing to make a commitment and a promise not only to me and to our children but to God. It's choosing to put God at the center of our marriage instead of our(selfish)selves and continuing to make the right choices not just the easy ones.
God has honored and blessed our commitment to each other and as a result we have grown stronger in the midst of difficulty. It's not easy, I'm not trying to paint an unrealistic picture here. At best we are making tough choices in difficult circumstances. At the end of the day though the words we spoke and the commitment we made 14 years ago before God and before each other is stronger than anything in this world and by God's guidance and grace it will continue to be so.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Caroline's Cart
I saw this on the news the other night and was totally intrigued by it. Here's what I found when I searched Caroline's cart on YouTube...
Something you may not know unless you've truly thought about it and I don't know why you would have if you didn't have to, but Sophie Kate cannot sit in a regular grocery cart. She doesn't have the trunk or head control to do so. To go grocery shopping with SK is quite an undertaking even when I have help. Someone has to push SK in her wheelchair and then someone else has to push the cart, not to mention the space her wheelchair takes up in the back. Remember, we are shopping for 6 over here and it takes all available space in the van for food and supplies for these boys.
I hope the stores will see fit to buy some of these (or even just one) for the special needs families in their communities. I am going to contact the places we frequent and encourage them to look into this. I'll keep you posted and we'll see if any of them actually do.
Chad and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage on July 26th. It just so happens that our church is having a get together for special needs children and their siblings that night. We are actually going to get a night out just the two of us on our anniversary. I am so thrilled and so thankful for the love and support we receive from our church.
Happy Anniversary honey. Things today may not look like we thought they would have 14 years ago in that one bedroom apartment that we started out in, but I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else but you. Love you!
Something you may not know unless you've truly thought about it and I don't know why you would have if you didn't have to, but Sophie Kate cannot sit in a regular grocery cart. She doesn't have the trunk or head control to do so. To go grocery shopping with SK is quite an undertaking even when I have help. Someone has to push SK in her wheelchair and then someone else has to push the cart, not to mention the space her wheelchair takes up in the back. Remember, we are shopping for 6 over here and it takes all available space in the van for food and supplies for these boys.
I hope the stores will see fit to buy some of these (or even just one) for the special needs families in their communities. I am going to contact the places we frequent and encourage them to look into this. I'll keep you posted and we'll see if any of them actually do.
Chad and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage on July 26th. It just so happens that our church is having a get together for special needs children and their siblings that night. We are actually going to get a night out just the two of us on our anniversary. I am so thrilled and so thankful for the love and support we receive from our church.
Happy Anniversary honey. Things today may not look like we thought they would have 14 years ago in that one bedroom apartment that we started out in, but I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else but you. Love you!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
These Days
It's been a difficult couple of weeks here, I don't know why exactly. We have made the decision to go ahead with surgery for our little girl, concerning her hip problem. That's not it entirely, although scheduling another surgery for my daughter definitely hasn't helped my mood of late.
It's just the continuing of days I guess, time moving on but seeming to stand still at the same time and finding out that time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds. Thank goodness for the boys, their energy and their demands. I have said it before but I totally could have seen myself shut up inside these four walls closed off to the world, just SK and I. Thank goodness for them, they force me outside these four walls.
I've learned to put up a pretty good front, I think. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that these boys can't see me weeping on a daily basis. My tears are very private these days. I hate and I mean hate when they overcome me in public. Are people thinking that I should be able to handle this better by now? Are they thinking that they need to say something (which they don't)? Are they thinking that I should be stronger than this by now?
The only thing I know for sure is that I don't know. I would give anything to hear her sweet voice to see her sit, stand, walk...to see her be able to eat normally, to see her reach for me to feel her put her arms around me. I hear people say that God heard their prayer and healed their loved one or that once their loved one was healed they say "God heard our prayers" or "God answered our prayers." What am I supposed to make of that? It cuts very deep. God didn't hear my prayers? He didn't hear my heart as cried it out just as deeply as yours did? I know He hears my prayers and pleadings, but His answer to me right now is "no." As much strength as I may "appear" to have when the sun is up, I am equally a wreck shedding my tears privately when the sun goes down.
I know this is not what everyone wants to hear, people want to hear that everything is fine, we are fine, the boys are fine and SK is fine. I will go back to appearing "fine" at an outing near you soon as for now this is the raw unedited emotion that engulfs me more often than I'd like to admit.
It's just the continuing of days I guess, time moving on but seeming to stand still at the same time and finding out that time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds. Thank goodness for the boys, their energy and their demands. I have said it before but I totally could have seen myself shut up inside these four walls closed off to the world, just SK and I. Thank goodness for them, they force me outside these four walls.
I've learned to put up a pretty good front, I think. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that these boys can't see me weeping on a daily basis. My tears are very private these days. I hate and I mean hate when they overcome me in public. Are people thinking that I should be able to handle this better by now? Are they thinking that they need to say something (which they don't)? Are they thinking that I should be stronger than this by now?
The only thing I know for sure is that I don't know. I would give anything to hear her sweet voice to see her sit, stand, walk...to see her be able to eat normally, to see her reach for me to feel her put her arms around me. I hear people say that God heard their prayer and healed their loved one or that once their loved one was healed they say "God heard our prayers" or "God answered our prayers." What am I supposed to make of that? It cuts very deep. God didn't hear my prayers? He didn't hear my heart as cried it out just as deeply as yours did? I know He hears my prayers and pleadings, but His answer to me right now is "no." As much strength as I may "appear" to have when the sun is up, I am equally a wreck shedding my tears privately when the sun goes down.
I know this is not what everyone wants to hear, people want to hear that everything is fine, we are fine, the boys are fine and SK is fine. I will go back to appearing "fine" at an outing near you soon as for now this is the raw unedited emotion that engulfs me more often than I'd like to admit.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Jacob's Tour of Birthdays
How is it that my children have worked it to where their birthday celebrations end up spanning the entire month of their birthdays? The month of March ended up being one party after another for G-man and now July has shaped up in much the same way for Jacob.
We kicked off Jacob's tour of birthday parties at Smith Lake...
Then there was an impromptu pool party with friends...
Then the weekend of his actual birthday (July 15) we let him choose where he wanted to eat. All my children choose the Japanese place where they cook the food in front of you. Therefore, in our house it is called "cook in front of us." They have always called it that, they don't even know the real name of the place and come to think of it, I'm not sure that I do either...it's just "cook in front of us."
and then we were off to Yogurt Mountain for dessert...
If you haven't had the privilege of the yummy goodness of Yogurt Mountain, I would encourage you to find the one closest to you and head there straight-away, you can thank me later.
Jacob's tour of birthdays came to a close this weekend with Harry Potter, so sad to say goodbye to the Potter series, but it was the best one yet.
So I think I can now officially say that as of the 18th of July 2011, we are done with Jacob's birthday celebrations until July 2012 rolls around.
I'll tell ya, I have no problem making this kid feel extra special on his birthday because of the selflessness we see in him year round. He has such a servant's heart whether it is in his interactions with his sister...
with his brothers, or with his friends. He is so kind. God's definitely got a hold of his heart, I pray that will always be so and that I don't do anything to mess things up.
My accident prone middle son, my life would be so boring without you and I never want to be bored. Time, would you please slow down...this little guy cannot possibly be 9 years old, can he?
Happy Birthday Jacob!!
We kicked off Jacob's tour of birthday parties at Smith Lake...
Then there was an impromptu pool party with friends...
Then the weekend of his actual birthday (July 15) we let him choose where he wanted to eat. All my children choose the Japanese place where they cook the food in front of you. Therefore, in our house it is called "cook in front of us." They have always called it that, they don't even know the real name of the place and come to think of it, I'm not sure that I do either...it's just "cook in front of us."
and then we were off to Yogurt Mountain for dessert...
If you haven't had the privilege of the yummy goodness of Yogurt Mountain, I would encourage you to find the one closest to you and head there straight-away, you can thank me later.
Jacob's tour of birthdays came to a close this weekend with Harry Potter, so sad to say goodbye to the Potter series, but it was the best one yet.
So I think I can now officially say that as of the 18th of July 2011, we are done with Jacob's birthday celebrations until July 2012 rolls around.
I'll tell ya, I have no problem making this kid feel extra special on his birthday because of the selflessness we see in him year round. He has such a servant's heart whether it is in his interactions with his sister...
with his brothers, or with his friends. He is so kind. God's definitely got a hold of his heart, I pray that will always be so and that I don't do anything to mess things up.
Happy Birthday Jacob!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Yep, more lake pictures
Jacob's has one of the many July birthdays in the family, we try to make it extra special with a party at the lake...
Sophie Kate can take the late night partying for only so long...
Don't you just love how compliant they all look, they're like this all the time...ahem, except they were threatened within an inch of their boat riding privileges...just kidding (not really). Actually the dreaded family photo night (and when I say dreaded I'm mean mostly dreaded by our husbands) went pretty smoothly if you don't count the sweat pouring down the faces of me and my sister.
It's been fun going back through all the pictures from our trip. It's always a great time, no one ever wants to leave. These are wonderful memories, as our children grow up they will always remember their summers at the lake.
Thanks for checking in on us.
Some of the gorgeous sunsets over Smith Lake...
Sophie Kate can take the late night partying for only so long...
Our Fourth of July cuties...
Absolutely love this one of SK and baby Olivia...
All the cousins...
Don't you just love how compliant they all look, they're like this all the time...ahem, except they were threatened within an inch of their boat riding privileges...just kidding (not really). Actually the dreaded family photo night (and when I say dreaded I'm mean mostly dreaded by our husbands) went pretty smoothly if you don't count the sweat pouring down the faces of me and my sister.
It's been fun going back through all the pictures from our trip. It's always a great time, no one ever wants to leave. These are wonderful memories, as our children grow up they will always remember their summers at the lake.
Thanks for checking in on us.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Smith Lake (part 2)
I have so many of these shots from our Smith Lake trip, it was hard to pick just one...
On the days we didn't have the boat, we hung out at the dock. On this particular day Sophie Kate got in the baby pool brought by my sister for baby Olivia. Just as a side note in case you may be wondering, SK is not able to get in lake water because of her feeding tube. So we filled up the baby pool with the water hose so she could stay cool too.
Grey hopped right in with her to help. This boy is on top of things when it comes to his sister. He was not asked to stop swimming or to come over and help, he just does it. It's not only a sweet gesture on his part, it's a part of who he is. He knows when he's needed, he knows when she needs him.
Love this one of my dad showing Grey how to drive the boat...
My dad and Chad were able to get Cooper off the tube 2 times this year. I'm not sure if it was the boat driving or just sheer exhaustion that caused him to be thrown from the tube, probably a little of both. This kid hung on like nobody's business, it was quite a task to get him off the tube and in the water.
Not sure what these two are planning and even more sure that I don't want to know...
Remember when I mentioned exhaustion in the last post? Well, this is what it looks like...
Well, it looks like things are going to stretch into a third post. The lake vacation just cannot be contained to only two.
On the days we didn't have the boat, we hung out at the dock. On this particular day Sophie Kate got in the baby pool brought by my sister for baby Olivia. Just as a side note in case you may be wondering, SK is not able to get in lake water because of her feeding tube. So we filled up the baby pool with the water hose so she could stay cool too.
Grey hopped right in with her to help. This boy is on top of things when it comes to his sister. He was not asked to stop swimming or to come over and help, he just does it. It's not only a sweet gesture on his part, it's a part of who he is. He knows when he's needed, he knows when she needs him.
They too have a bond with no need for words.
Sophie Kate, happy in the pool.
Sophie Kate and her cousin Emma Claire, they're rockin' the southern double name thing.
Love this one of my dad showing Grey how to drive the boat...
Going...
Going...
Gone...
My dad and Chad were able to get Cooper off the tube 2 times this year. I'm not sure if it was the boat driving or just sheer exhaustion that caused him to be thrown from the tube, probably a little of both. This kid hung on like nobody's business, it was quite a task to get him off the tube and in the water.
Baby Olivia...
Not sure what these two are planning and even more sure that I don't want to know...
Remember when I mentioned exhaustion in the last post? Well, this is what it looks like...
Well, it looks like things are going to stretch into a third post. The lake vacation just cannot be contained to only two.
The brothers
Thanks for checking in on us.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Smith Lake
Each summer we take a week long trip with my parents and my sister's family to beautiful Smith Lake. My parent's rent a house and a boat and when that is combined with 7 grandchildren, this is what happens...
Grey was ready to go "boating" (as he called it) from the moment we got there. If the boat was leaving the dock, he was on it!
Grey was ready to go "boating" (as he called it) from the moment we got there. If the boat was leaving the dock, he was on it!
It didn't matter if we were on the dock...
or on the boat...
(Don't ask, it's just Grey he's like this all the time)
or tubing...
(yep, he's doin' the sprinkler)
(show off)
Everyone had a great time. The kids were full on energy all week long. We played hard and fell exhausted into our beds each night. It was a good kind of tired though, the kind of tired you feel content with after putting everything you have into the day. It's knowing you put everything you had to give that day into these guys...
and the baby sister...
There is much more to share including proof that Cooper was thrown off the tube this year, but that's all for now. Thanks for checking in on us.
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